HOW I WISH YOU WERE HERE

RULES OF THE GAME:
Each player of the game starts off with ten weird things or habits or known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write it in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs!

ONE: I have to bend any bendy straws i see.

TWO: I'm lazy, but i cant stand seeing others being lazier than i am. its gross.

THREE: I am quite an emotional person.

FOUR: I will puke at any hint of foul smell.

FIVE: I want to get married sooner so i can have sex sooner (hahaha i am so glad no one will read this)

SIX: I am afraid to drive (horrible experience when i drove go-cart for the first time)

SEVEN: I cannot be blindfolded, i will seriously freak out.

EIGHT: I can communicate with cats ( ooo yes im a catwoman)  

NINE: i cannot be left alone.

TEN: the risk of getting caught doing something bad excites me

eh okay 6 people, now my blog is really private and no one comes here haha so whoever sees this can play this game and pass it around!

last night i dreamt that michael tan read my blog. how freaky damnit.

anyway im gonna shut down my blog temporarily again cause im too lazy to blog.

BYE!

Jumbo today was laden with MSG, made my stomach so tired. But nevertheless, it was pretty good, though raw oysters or maybe lobster would be mighty fine. the old aunties singing karaoke made my head spin, and shockingly my bro could actually sing hotel california quite well, looks like all the practising worked.

it was regan's first birthday and he looked so cute with that mohawk, oh maternal instincts are calling out to me! i want a baby to play with, they are always soooo cute.

YESSSSSS exams will be over this week and it doesnt even feel like exams! okay i cannot wait for shopping sprees (after all the GSS is still on) and days where i can just sloth around for the whole day! oooo i needa buy alot more clothes, time to clear my wardrobe! my red skinnies are the sexxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

yeah needa pee, bye world.

studying drains my brain juices

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                                                          mugging

exams are round the corner damnit and i realised i havent done much. math and econs, i left them for the day before the exam. Lit, which is in 3days time, is not even started on yetttttttt. i'm still waiting for the panicky feeling to set in before i start my hardcore mugging.

Training, then lunch with netballers yesterday! training was tough, we were all damn unfit, panting after each drill. Lunch was great with them, though i ate nonstop.

 Oysters were the sex, tasted ohsogood it was almost orgasmic haha. apparently canadian oysters are in season this month and next month, new zealand oysters will be in season, gotta have some of those. $3.20 for one oyster was overpriced for me, but it was so fresh and sweet i thought it was worth every cent.

And being in the company of netballers today felt good! havent had an all-girls outing this year till yesterday. there was more laughter though we were all so tired, and time for shopping even though we were in a big group. Looking forward to training (yeah i cant believe it myself) and working our asses off together :)

i feel so much better about it now.

You are right! Why should i care so much about what people say about me!

And having you around is more than enough!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH LOVEEEEE

just took a long walk down the street with ru, discussing over my behaviour. it sounded really horrid but i have to agree that there is some, well, alot of truth in it. After getting together with him, i have sorta distanced myself from the rest. i hate that, i really really hate that. Sometimes when i hear all that laughter behind me, i just wanna put down everything im doing and join them. Im not insinuating that spending time with him doesnt beat spending time with the rest, but its just that time with the rest is greatly reduced. and this is totally my fault cause i didnt realise that it was me myself whom distanced myself from the rest. There is always the case of 'oh, i'll join them next week' whenever we go out as a group. But what i didnt realise was that it gets harder and harder to get back in.

and this results in distance from the group - what i am now. :( it sucks to be like that.

it just occured to me how lonely i am. the only person other than floyd that i can actually talk to is ru. i reckon cause she believes that im not just a fair-weathered friend/sister? which is sadly what the rest think of me. i cant blame them for that, cause im not on close terms to anyone else in the group. i kinda miss the days when im still single and free. Like when boys were infatuation only. where i can just talk to anyone anytime and not care about anyone else.

i must make the effort to talk to the rest more.

:(

just came back from nijump's chalet, which i found really familiar cause my dad brought the family there when we were really young. anyway, food was really good! prepared by the rest while i waited to be fed :D tiong and cynthia were being so lovelydovey even i couldnt stand it eww!

Lots of photos, will post it up when i get it from dan!

ru chye and shaun tried this subconscious question thing which worked on benfrench, apparently they kept on asking him and he didnt wake up hah! i answered the first one and got really grumpy after that, threatening to kill them. shao's killings must be getting to me.

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the boys had their soccer friendly in the afternoon, too hot! i almost died under that heat, luckily i was well prepared as usual! with the umbrella and shades, ooo im closer to acting like a taitai. the score was a draw in the end, what a waste, could have won, but the referee called an offside after that exciting goal. GOOD JOB ANYWAY BOYS

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CJC netball is gna be damn tight. Yesterday was the start. We're gna work hard together as a team and bring glory to CJC netball. A CCA that is to be respected. that means lots of sacrifices have to be made (my nails :() and commitment has to be there. We had a damn motivating team talk, and im gna run my first 5km marathon willingly in july/august, all for the good of the team. i really want CJC netball to shine and something that we all can be proud of.

aite, lazy already, tata!

Beach Boys - Wouldn't It Be Nice

Beach Boys

i was just looking through my song collections and i chanced upon the song 'wouldnt it be nice' by Beach Boys. its a really sweet song and it reminds me of floyd :) err haha how about almost every sweet love song reminds me of him! anyway, this song is like teenage dreamin, where everything in future will be rosy and you've just got this feeling that he/she is the one ( which sadly, most of the time its not). This song totally reflects our simple dreams and i just gotta put it up.

Quite a lot of people reckon that we are gna break up soon, that we are those kinda people who hook up and its all about the physical stuff. i must admit, i was doubtful that we could even last when we first started, cause it just started with no proper beginning! i am actually pretty traditional in this aspect ( dates, flowers, romantic stuff first!), so i was pretty surprised when i myself just jumped into it just like that. nevertheless, im extremely glad that whatever happened happened, i find myself getting more and more sure that he is the one. we are so similar in character i find it hard to believe, as cliche as it may sound, hes my soulmate :)

like the song, just to be able to spend the whole day together (slothing) and then retire into bed with a goodnight kiss, and wake up in the morning to see him next to me would be the greatest bliss on earth. but sadly, like the song as well, it seems the more we talk about it, it only makes it worse to live without it, so we just gotta wait for that day to come!

teenage love is sweet and innocent, like how the song portrays it, no sexual innuendoes, but pure love. if seeing one's love the first thing one wakes up is the happiest thing on earth, it could be the sign of true love. and thats probably why i had loved this song so much in the past. it gave me an idea of true love, how sweet it is, and the motivation to look for it. and i found it :)

ru recently wrote about her ruminations over love. what love is and all, how it feels to be in love. i tried to answer the question, but i figured that love is pretty elusive. It just wouldnt allow you to grab it, and examine it like a specimen, and i couldnt find any answer that would answer her question perfectly. But all i know that it is a wonderful experience if one has found the right one, and everyone deserves to be loved.

this post is so cheery, thinking of him always makes me smile!

yknow, i think i might just start blogging again, this random urge to post stuff up is getting to my head.

anyway, lyrics for this song:

Almost everyone has a blog now, which makes blogs pretty pointless, having one for the sake of saying "ooo, i have a blog now!" This is probably the reason why i stopped blogging (other reasons include laziness haha). Most of the blogs (friends) i read are just random rants about their lives without any real insights or reflections about the happenings, which gives me a really superficial impression of them. i know, im being overly critical of my friends who rant endlessly about their lives and i probably do not have the right since i tend to bitch about my life without thinking over it sometimes. However i must say that ru writes pretty well. Her reflection on her actions and things happening around her does make me stop in my tracks and ruminate over issues. Although i would hate to admit in front of her that her blog is a good read, it is one of my first stops once i log on to the web. she is really much more mature online than when she speaks in my opinion, no offence really.

Many a times, im tempted to keep a blog and update it regularly like she does, writing down my thoughts and sharing it with people who actually read it. But i know that whatever i write in there will change people's impression of me. i must say that i like to have a protective image of myself and not many people know what im actually like ( will come back to this later). To many, even my closer friends, im just a bimbo who hates the sun and bugs and nothing probably goes through that empty brain of mine. This bimbotic image actually protects me from bitch attacks and stuff like that. i believe noone really knows who i am, not even myself. floyd maybe? but i find myself not being very truthful even to him. He probably knows almost everything about me, but i have this feeling that i have something very important that hasnt been told, something like the core of me, the way i am. and i cant even share with him because i dont even know myself well. im beginning to think that im the bimbo everyone makes me out to be. though i have this feeling that he is uncovering my true self through his own observations. i can sense him getting closer and more intimate with my true self. i am quite afraid that he will know me like the back of his hand, i just cant put a finger on the reason why im so afraid. i guess i just like to remain mysterious and wouldnt want the protective cover to be penetrated. 

the recent leadership training camp i attended kinda shook me to my senses. I was shocked that i was even picked, that my teachers could see my potential in being a leader. people laughed and joked about me being a leader, but floyd believed that i have this leadership thing in me. i know hes actually quite a thinker, despite his mud, lackadaisical appearance. i guess that is what makes us so similar, we arent what people make us out to be. anyway, i was chosen for LTC in secondary school and i totally skipped the whole thing because it was too tough. It was really silly of me to do so because thats what its meant to be. tough to make us leaders. unpolished carbon to go through all that shit and come out as beautiful diamonds. Cliched as it sounds, i think its quite true. i feel that im quite different after this LTC, i actually brought back worthy stuff with me, which will make me a better leader. During camp, i sung the college anthem for the first time and i actually meant it. i felt the CJC spirit in me. It actually felt like a holiday camp at first, i reckon most people forgot that its a leadership training camp. Until they punished us. my group received the most impossible task ever and while we perservered even though we had gone past the time limit, we cheered for our group KAMIKAZE and we all felt tears welling up in our eyes. at that point of time, i felt the true spirit of leadership, to serve and to be like KAMIKAZE(till we die). okay, exaggeration there, but it was kinda like that and the team spirit was truly felt. and it was all-for-one, one-for-all when we did pushups together with the councillors. That was the most eventful and emotional day of the year. i felt different when i got back, tired and all, most importantly, i understood the true meaning of servant leadership and will apply it in future. i am really hyped up and motivated by a good leader now, hopefully this enthusiasm will not burn out.

this is a really long entry and its totally random. Noone will probably even read this cause its kept very private. and i probably wont even come back until i feel like ranting randomly or putting down thoughts that i cant keep in any longer.